Friday Fun--Septic Humor or When a Good Flush Beats a Full House!

Septic System Pumping Requirements on MN Acreage

When I first heard the infamous Erma Bombeck quip, "The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank", I had no idea what she was talking about. Now, after a decade of living on an acreage property with a septic or private sewage system, I not only get the joke, I know it is true.

Septic cleaning is a dirty business and somebody’s gotta do it. Septic tanks must be pumped out at a minimum of every three years in the city of Ham Lake. This periodic requirement for individual septic systems specifies not only pumping but a visual inspection too. In fact, having your septic tank pumped and inspected is a requirement of most Twin Cities north and eastern metro communities. State and county codes do not control the point of sale or inspection of on-site or individual sewage disposal systems (ISDS or septic systems) leaving it up to each Minnesota city and community to adopted their own standards and rules for inspection.

Our personal choice has been to use Olson’s Sewer Service of Forest Lake to pump out and inspect our septic system since we moved to our Ham Lake acreage. Their slogan, “keeping your sewer in the pink” and hot pink trucks are seen all over Forest Lake, Columbus, Wyoming and Ham Lake. When their pink reminder postcard arrives in the mailbox every three years, I call and schedule our septic pumping and inspection right away.

Olson’s colorful slogan is catchy yet tame compared to septic professionals really. Some septic service companies have adopted some unusually humorous, and rather gross, sayings to remind you of what they deal with on a daily basis. Here is a list of some favorites that have been seen on sewage and plumbing trucks all over the US:


· Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
· We're #1 in the #2 business.
· You Dump It, We Pump It
· After the first whiff, call Cliff.
· A good flush beats a full house
· We do Pump 'N Right
· We'll take crap from anybody.
· Satisfaction guaranteed or your merchandise cheerfully returned.
· Your poop is our bread and butter!
· Your brown is our green.

If you have a septic system on located on your property, check with city hall for specific pumping and inspection guidelines as they are not all the same. While Ham Lake requires an inspection once every three years, it is once every two years in Lino Lakes. Most cities require that the tank, drain field and baffles of the system be inspected at the time the system is pumped. As part of their service, most septic contractors will submit a completed permit to the local city hall to document the inspection.

Keep in mind, in many cases this is not an optional maintenance process and  inspection. If you choose not to clean and inspect your private sewer system, most cities will hire a contractor for you and assess the charges on your property taxes.

Copyright 2012 www.terieckholm.com

Friday Fun--Which Home in the Hundred Acre Wood would be YOUR Choice?

Okay all you homebuyers out there....Just imagine for one moment that you were going to buy a home in the Hundred Acre Wood (you know that wonderful place where Winnie the Pooh and all his pals hang out). Let's pretend that Pooh and all his friends have decided to put their homes up for sale. Whose home would you choose?

• Eeyore's? I'd avoid this one. An A-Frame built of sticks without a proper foundation that a butterfly could knock down in a second isn't worth consideration.
• Gopher's? Though Gopher's actual home is never shown, it would appear to be underground. Underground, earth berm homes lack the curb appeal necessary for most buyers.
• Owl's? The tree Owl's house is built in doesn't seem to support the weight of the home. On a very blustery day, the whole thing could be blown down.
• Pooh's? Now at first glance, Pooh's place looks sturdy but I'd question the upkeep of a home maintained by a bear of very little brain. When a homeowner cannot even take down the name plaque of the previous owner, Mr. Saunders, it is doubtful that he would have the ability to do the upkeep on the interior. Besides when the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down, much of it ended up inside Pooh's house.
  
• Rabbit's? Now Rabbit was a character that really took care of his property! He always seems to have a rake or broom in his hand. His garden is fenced and meticulously arranged. But he does seem to have a egress problem with his door. If a guest cannot have dinner, or several pots of honey, without getting stuck on the way out, there is a problem.
• Tigger's? It seems that Tigger may be the homeless resident of the Hundred Acre Wood as he is always bouncing up to his neighbor's homes but never appears to be at his own.
• Christopher Robin's? Though probably the best choice of a home as it is currently being occupied by humans, Christopher Robin's home is not located in the Hundred Acre Woods and so it does not meet your current buying criteria.
• Kanga's? All things considered, I would choose Kanga and Roo's home. Kanga seems to have a lovely, well maintained rambler with a covered front porch. We know it is a two bedroom because Roo has his own bedroom. All other homes in the wood appear to be one room efficiency dwellings. To me, Kanga's two bedroom gem appears to be a choice for a home buyer in the Hundred Acre Wood.

The question above is whimsical but not unlike what an actual buyer might go through when considering homes for sale currently listed in the Minneapolis/St. Paul Multiple Listing Service (MLS). I have shown a few foreclosures in the past that were not much better than Eeyore's pile of sticks. This is especially true when it comes to unmaintained decks. There have been several so rickety, that my clients and I avoided being on at the same time, if at all.

I have also shown homes with narrow hallways and doorways. Though, I only recall one home where a full grown person could have actually gotten stuck in the floor opening of a spiral stairway, there were several others where I had to recommend buyers to consider how furniture would get in and out due to tight corners and narrow spaces.

And maintenance issues, or lack there of, by people whose heads seem to be a little "stuffed with fluff" is a common occurrence. I have seen homes where repairs were quite literally made with duct tape rather than a proper replacement.

Most home buyers strive to find the well maintained gem similar to Kanga's house. Buyer's dream homes usually are properties where all repairs and replacements have been made to code with proper materials. It is a house that is usable and accessible to everyone in the family without ducking their heads or turning sideways to squeeze through a doorway. Sometimes a buyer will even choose to look outside their original location parameters and consider a home on the edge of the preferred community to buy the exceptional home of their dreams.

Finding and buying the perfect home takes time but the process is made much easier when working with a knowledgeable REALTOR® that can tell an Eeyore-designed pile of sticks from a comfortable cabin like Kanga's.

*Note All Character Photos were shots of Disney® Pins in a personal collection.

Copyright 2011 www.terieckholm.com